dreamwidth!!!

kewl ok

i regret the fact that i frequently go through all of my online profiles and delete things because i realize that in the process i have deleted really nice comments that my friends have left me that i would love to revisit from time to time! i looked up and down for a comment a friend left on one of my writing pieces only to remember that i deleted all the writing i posted to this journal last year. huh.

gosh golly i reckon no one uses livejournal anymore.

i feel like it's time to take a step back and think about everything that has happened. 

( a lot of words )

i don't even know if i should bother with nanowrimo this year. last year was a huge disappointment and so was the year before that and etc. i just don't think i have the patience and i go against the whole point of nano which is to write without concern and without getting caught up editing and for some reason i just cannot do that. i don't know who all is doing it this year but idk man i don't think i want to bother if it's going to just stress me out. but at the same time, i haven't been writing at all lately so maybe this would be a good motivator. idk who cares. 

i woke up at 4 this morning and immediately assumed that it would be a bad day. i watched howl's moving castle on netflix for a while, then decided to go downstairs and eat breakfast and watch something on tv. i was upset for a long time today but then... i took a nap! and i felt much better. i cleaned my room and folded laundry and organized all of my folders. i have also been making more of an effort to talk to people or at least let people know that i am paying attention to them. 

my phone is charging and i took my benadryl and turned off all the lights and the tv downstairs and now i am in bed. i hope i sleep well! and i hope everyone else does too. 

i am the most insufferable human being on this planet right now and i would greatly discourage anyone from attempting to be my friend until i get over myself 

well i guess i am going to just say things here b/c i feel like im annoying everyone on like twitter and stuff idk

and no one pays attn to livejournal

ok well the issue on hand i guess is the fact that this morning has been horrible 

i was already awake when my mom started getting emily and stephen ready for school and then mom gave emily the keys to the van and was like "go start the van" and then she did but then got out of the van and shut the door and ended up locking the keys inside the van... while the van was running. so we had to pry one of the back windows open and my mom made this contraption by breaking a golf club and sticking it into the end of the net for cleaning the pool and she managed to roll down one of the windows with it and then they got in the car

so we took emily to school and omg she is such a brat? i never realized how bad of a brat my sister is until lately. she is ridic and my brother was saying he was feeling sick and we were like "oh w/e he just doesnt want to go school" and then he puked everywhere in the car and it was disgusting

so i had to go into the school to get his work and talk to one of my old teachers and i look sf ugly today so i hated that

and my dad is acting like he is literally 5 and that is getting old

overall i am just going on zero hours of sleep and i am grumpy as hell and my dr pepper is flat

i still have the visitor's pass from the elementary school on my dress omg i went into the gas station with it on i am so stupid

i still have more to say but im tired of talking lol

 yesterday was kind of a productive day and today has been really lazy i guess. i worked out for a little while and then i played zelda (and got through jabu-jabu's belly in record time) and that is all i have done. i am hungry and there isnt really any food in the apartment so i am going to roll around and whine over that. i really dont have the money to go out and get anything to eat either! i am still waiting for my mom to ship my food up but she has been busy and when she isnt busy she just forgets

i wrote something yesterday but havent written anything today and i probably will not write anything for a while

uhm new york is muggy and uncomfortable, i am still jobless, i have written nothing but pure shit lately! 

sometimes i have feelings. sometimes i don't. 

and i need to update my writing livejournal i guess but i don't like anything i have written lately enough to post it uuuuhhhhh i just post things on my writing tumblr because i don't want people to unfollow due to a lack of activity or whatever.

i had a dream about someone the other night, it was very conversational and relaxed and i woke up upset because i miss everyone too much

ヾ(｀⌒´メ)ノ″